Unbridled Bliss

“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 CORINTHIANS 12:9

My Abba,

Since Gracie’s sudden departure to heaven last weekend, emotional shock waves continue to roll in breaking our hearts and leveling our equilibrium. We are left with a gaping hole in our hearts that will never be totally filled this side of heaven.

As I reflect on Gracie’s life and homecoming, her life verse impacts me in an even greater way. She spent her whole life in an extremely weak place if you evaluate her time on earth from a cognitive and physical perspective. I am still blown away when I think about how Gracie entered this world with Down’s syndrome, fought the most aggressive form of leukemia at age two, and sustained a severe brain injury by age three that left her fully dependent.

Since your power works best in weakness, it is no wonder Gracie was such a radiant display of your power. In her frailty, there was ample space for you to reveal your extravagant presence. I am also convinced she had the benefit of enjoying a preview of heaven at three when she had no heartbeat for 20 minutes. I think she saw glorious things she simply could not unsee.

Although Gracie returned to us without language we could clearly understand, she never needed words to worship you. After her experience with you “outside” her body, Gracie’s exquisite response to even the mention of your name was unbridled bliss.

If we prayed or worshiped in her presence, Gracie brought a whole new meaning to the spiritual practice of “ecstatic utterance.” She always celebrated you like no one was looking. That is the greatest gift she gave me. Gracie was a woman who worshiped you with her whole being and was unashamed.

Your grace was definitely all she needed. When I read the words I wrote above describing Gracie as “fully dependent,” I realize those words describe so much more than her physical condition. She was fully dependent on you.

I want to be more like Gracie. I want to be fully dependent on you, experiencing the unbridled bliss of your presence. In my utter weakness, please be my boundless Strength.

I love you,

Mollie

My Child,

Even my Son experienced the sting of a loved one’s physical death when his friend Lazarus died. Though Jesus knew he would raise Lazarus from the grave, he still wept. I created my beloved ones with a desire for eternal connection with each other and me. I did not design you for this grievous separation. It feels wrong for a reason.

I know you do not grieve as one without hope. You clearly anticipate a magnificent reunion someday with Gracie and other loved ones who have gone before you. But I expect your sorrow now. I will carry you through the anguish. Your pain, no matter how consuming, is no rival for my comfort.

Remember, Gracie’s light has not gone out. I shone through her in a supernatural way. I will continue to use her. My light can never be extinguished. Always rejoice in the memories of her luminous presence. And realize you can’t come close to imagining the way she now shines as she sees me face to face.

This life will soon be past. Live like Gracie did. Enamored with my presence and overflowing with contagious joy.

I love you, Abba

Photo: S.Garza