Oasis

“Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us. What joy!” PSALM 126:3

My Abaa,

The past week, we have waded shoulder deep in the waters of temporal blessing. You have done great things for us. I want to be jubilant like the psalmist exclaiming, “What joy!”

But even as I thank you for this gift, I feel an awkward undercurrent of discomfort with this comfort. I want to enjoy the pleasure of these refreshing springs. But I realize I need your power to do that.

As I write this, it sounds so bizarre and ungrateful. Why do I need your power to enjoy something so enjoyable? Why am I uncomfortable taking pleasure in the material gift you have given us? Honestly, I feel self-indulgent and guilty. The weight of this temporal blessing is throwing off my spiritual and emotional equilibrium.

I want to walk well with you in pleasure and pain. I want to enjoy all circumstantial and spiritual blessings. But I realize I need your grace on every path — the brutal and the beautiful. I know how to find joy in your matchless presence in the midst of chronic pain, abuse, and devastating loss.

You, your beauty, and magnificent spiritual blessings have carried me through so many battles in my life. So here we are. The trials have not evaporated. Empowered by your Spirit, I am still in the ring swinging wildly at heartbreak, chronic pain, broken family connections, Parkinson’s, and the cobwebs of abuse.

I often say, “We can enjoy God’s presence in the midst of any circumstance.” But honestly, I was only thinking of the truly difficult ones dealing knockout punches.

You are always my beautiful Respite. Whether I am up against the ropes under a barrage of blows, or experiencing peace and protection from my opponents, please show me how to be increasingly captivated by you.

I love you,

Mollie

My Child,

Yes, you have had a lot of practice walking with me in pain. You have enjoyed intimate communion with me in the midst of a deluge of adversity. But just because I have brought something pleasant in your life, does not mean our relationship will wither. You are leery because struggle is what you know. It is familiar.

You have wrestled with trauma as long as you can remember. And in your struggle, you allowed me to carry you. Out of the ashes of your life, you let me nourish in you a glorious dependence on me.

That is why you believe this “amazing thing” might hinder our relationship. You are afraid it might weaken our connection, if you aren’t desperate for my presence in order to take your next breath. But pleasure in circumstantial blessings does not change reality. Your deepest joy is still found in me. No pain or pleasure can ever alter that.

Your dependence on me is not dependent on difficult or delightful circumstances. You have trusted me to grow our connection as we walked through the valley of the shadow of death. Now trust me to cause our communion to flourish in this oasis, also.

I love you,

Abba

Photo: J.Vitanoviski