Abba's Child

“And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, ‘Abba, Father.’” GALATIANS 4:6

My Abba,

Today, when I think of my identity as your child, it stirs up a swarm of memories. Mostly, I am remembering how my husband Cal demonstrated his love for our children. I have vivid memories of how their dad showed his love as he diapered, fed, rocked, carried, and sang lullabies to them (albeit, at times, Jerry Jeff Walker tunes). He showed them his love as he strapped them into car seats and told them adventurous, and painfully corny, bedtime stories.

He corrected them, set boundaries and hugged their adorable, and sometimes, defi ant little necks. He wrote one-of-a-kind, comical songs celebrating each of them and played them on his guitar. I loved how they danced, with total abandon, to their songs most every night until they were too cool to do so any longer.

He taught them about relationship with you, encouraged them to enjoy good books, music, art and theater, and showed them how to shoot a basketball. He demonstrated how to work hard, pursue wisdom and integrity, and develop their gifts. Although he was, by no means, perfect like you are, there are some encouraging parallels that come up for me when I refl ect on his love for them and your love for me.

It occurs to me that Cal didn’t wait until they expressed a need to provide for it. He knew, most times, what they needed way before they did. He didn’t wait until they were starving or their toes were cramped in ill-fi tting shoes to make the money to feed and clothe them.

Some of his good deeds were not recognized until many years later — or have never been. At times, he did good ABBA: a personal name for father that implies warm affection and devoted trustABBA’S CHiLD | 3 things for them, even when they wailed about it. Some of his actions, they instinctively saw as loving. Others, they simply tolerated. They hated a few good things he did. But if it was what he thought was best for them, he did it anyway.

I see more clearly the ways you demonstrate your love for me as I replay these memories. I am also noticing some parallels with my good and bad attitudes, responses and doubts. Before I knew to even think about or whisper a need to you, you provided for me.

You have given me life, nurtured, taught, and comforted me. You have instilled in me a love for your beauty and adventures. You have shown your delight in me and encouraged and empowered my gifts. You have “strapped” me into situations I did not want or understand, while taking me places I had no desire to go. You have held me as I wailed.

You have corrected and disciplined me. You have saved my rebel-self from running off into oblivion. You have taught me how to dance as I sing your love songs. (Thank you that I am still not too cool to dance with you in the kitchen, when no one else is looking.)

Thank you for creating me to know your love. I love being loved by you. Today, your Spirit in my heart prompts me to call out “Abba, Father!”

I love you,

Mollie

My Child,

Although there are limitations to your analogy, it helps for you to have a human illustration of a devoted father’s love for his children. Many people have never witnessed this. It grows your perception of my love and your identity as my child. I want my words to carry weight with you. I want you to understand who you are to me, and who you are because of me. As your Father, I want my love to inspire in you “warm affection and devoted trust.”

Don’t play armchair god, letting your unanswered questions peck at your trust in me. When you don’t understand what I have allowed (or not allowed), you can be tempted to pass judgment on me. I promise you cannot run my universe (or your life) better than I can. At times, you shudder at what I am doing, but get some clarity on my impeccable motives years later. Other times, you recognize my actions are grounded in my perfect love. My love for you doesn’t fl uctuate with your mercurial responses to me.

Let the constancy of my love kindle your trust in me. I will continue to remove what dampens your appreciation of my love for you. I want you to celebrate my f i erce, unfailing love for you and treasure each priceless moment as my beloved child. You will always belong to me. I cannot cease to be your Father, and you cannot cease to be my child.

Even when you don’t act like you belong to me, you cannot alter your identity as my child. It is who you are. And as my child, you are mine forever.

I love you,

Abba

Photo: e.koifman